Conan O'Brien

This is a sneak peak at the monologue that Conan O’Brien will offer on tonight’s episode of The Tonight Show.  The jabs at NBC and Jay Leno keep coming…

“Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien, NBC’s “Employee of the Month.’”

“There’s a rumor that NBC is so upset with me, they want to keep me off the air for three years. My response to that is, if NBC doesn’t want people to see me, just leave me on NBC.”

“Time sure does fly. Do you realize that a baby born on the day we did our first “Tonight Show” is now a slightly larger baby?”

“This is absolutely true—I received a letter from the adult film company ‘Pink Visual’ offering me a role in one of their porno movies. In the movie I’d be having sex with a beautiful woman and just as we’re about to climax I get replaced by Jay Leno.”

“No matter what happens, it’s been a real honor to sit in the same chair as Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, and Jay Leno.”